Let Change Happen: The teaching of the butterfly

"It takes great courage and inner strength to change from what is known and comfortable to something which is new and fresh. That which is unknown often contains our greatest potential. To seek our unknown potential by risking change is the path of true greatness. Such action brings untold blessings and much favor." unknown

The inspiration for the title of my blog, Let Change Happen, came to me many years back when I was working on my website and immersed in the topic of Change and image of the butterfly which is my logo. How people change and why they don't was what got me interested in psychotherapy in the first place. I was deep in my own therapy, working on the wounds from my childhood when I discovered meditation and began to study and practice Buddhism. That began a deep and profound study of the mind and how people change that included western education, eastern thought and training, metaphysics, spirituality and creativity. I have never met a person who hasn't at some point wanted to change themselves or their lives in some way. Sometimes in big ways such as through dealing with an addiction, sometimes in smaller ways such as getting out of a dead end job or pursuing a passion or creative dream.

Most have succeeded in at least an attempt or two, but, the majority have run into internal obstacles that kept them from actualizing their desire for change. For some the obstacles are self-limiting beliefs about themselves and their potential for success. They are great at the start, full of focus and commitment but deflate at the first set-back or disappointment. These people are fighting an internal war with an old opponent, winning the day but losing the battle again and again. For others the obstacles are issues of low self esteem being masked by grandiosity which doesn't believe in a learning curve. These folks are overcompensating for a fear of inadequacy and start a process of change needing to be perfect and needing it to happen now. Most of the time this is a setup for failure because change has its own pace and doesn't serve the ego. We ask 'change' to dance but we are the follow not the lead. The process will take us where we need to go in order to have what we say we want. It is our choice to say yes or to say no to what it asks of us along the way.

The biggest obstacle to change by far is our resistance to it. We constantly ask for things, say we want to let go of old habits, old beliefs and old behaviors, and then make choices that keep them locked in place. We blame it on our luck or we blame it on our life but the truth is that change is the rule not the exception. When you hold onto a resentment, when you resist love because it makes you vulnerable to your own feelings, when you reject greatness because you secretly don't believe you deserve it, when you lash out in anger because the pain feels too big to survive, these are the moments that you block the energy of change. These are the moments where you chose to stay put by refusing to let change happen through a shift in energy, a smile or a tear.

It takes great courage to let the certainty of the known go and abandon oneself to the unknown of the next moment. This is the way of transformation. This is the teaching of the butterfly.